Characteristics of the Gifted

Mary Cassatt. Mrs Cassatt Reading to Her Grandchildren, featured art "Characteristics of the Gifted" at The Third Eve.

The latest issue of the Mensa Research Journal explores high intelligence—giftedness—in the workplace. The authors found that gifted adults are “sometimes not able to function adequately at work,” which seems ironic: the most intelligent among us may function less ably than the rest of us at work, in school, or in other settings.1

  • Speed of thinking. Gifted individuals think more quickly than others. They make many mental switches, associate rapidly, and give the impression that they jump from one subject to the next.
  • High sensitivity. People with high intelligence are also more sensitive in various areas such as psychomotor, sensorial, intellectual, imaginative, and emotional. They are sometimes confused with people who have ADHD.
  • Introversion. The inner world of the gifted is highly developed. They are quickly and easily hurt, so may tend to keep others at a distance. Some avoid parties and other social gatherings because the topics of conversation bore them or because they have been rejected for being different in the past. People with high IQs also have trouble finding others like them, which can lead to even more isolation.
  • Emotional development. Many gifted individuals feel emotions strongly, but because their thinking ability is dominant and provides safety, their emotional development may lag behind. They may have trouble linking feelings and reason. This may be reinforced when the child’s giftedness is not recognized from an early age, and when it is mistaken for autism or other developmental problems.
  • Creativity. Gifted individuals can identify patterns quickly and thus predict trends. They may draw conclusions intuitively or make what appear to be quick or premature judgments. Their creativity is often frustrated by the regular education system or the typical workplace.
  • Independence. Gifted people make judgments and form opinions autonomously. They are non-conformist and therefore display “inappropriate behavior” in the classroom or work place. They often have an aversion to non-democratic authority.
  • Perfectionism. Perfectionism is often accompanied by having too high expectations of others, but also with shame, guilt feelings, and feelings of inferiority through not being able to meet their own high expectations.
  • Learning style. Many gifted people have exploratory learning styles. They look for what isn’t there, and are often bored by rote learning methods. As a result, they may never develop learning strategies.
  • Fear of failure and under-performing. If their intelligence is not stimulated, children often develop bad working habits. They sometimes think that they are stupid, become afraid of failure, and start under-performing. Their motivation to learn decreases.

Gifted individuals often exhibit a wide range of interests and talents. Once they have mastered a particular activity or hobby, they may lose interest and move on to explore something new.

They also tend to perceive multiple layers of meaning in situations and relationships—nuances that others might overlook. This heightened sensitivity can be emotionally taxing, even isolating, as the gifted person is aware of complexities that go unrecognized by those around them. Without support, this deep perceptiveness may lead to anxiety or even verge on neurosis. It’s crucial to help gifted individuals understand that their way of experiencing the world is different, but valid.

For example, a 10-year-old who can read, think, and comprehend at a high school level may still be emotionally and socially typical for their age. Such a mismatch can create real difficulties in a fifth-grade classroom. These challenges should be acknowledged and addressed, rather than ignored or left for the child to navigate alone.

The authors write that gifted people use various strategies to cope with their oddness. They may choose to be inconspicuous, keeping a low profile and restricting personal development because they’re not aware of their high intelligence, or don’t care to do the work that will lead to being accepted or better adjusted. In fact, if the highly intelligent child or person cannot see the value of being well adjusted, they may forgo getting along altogether.

Children who grew up knowing they were highly intelligent and accepted it are more likely to have developed the social skills to get along with others. Many who adapt do so because they’re able to learn or work in an environment full of gifted others. Still others move on from acceptance to being primarily social, functioning well in multi-disciplinary jobs where high intelligence and good social skills are needed–many more highly intelligent people work in the humanities, for example.

Some with high IQ develop confrontational styles in the classroom or workplace. While this may satisfy their rational minds, it results in social and even workplace isolation. Being taught the advantages of getting along with professors and supervisors may need to be made explicit.

Another article in the journal surveyed groups of gifted and non-gifted adults to research what sorts of professions the gifted tend to choose. I was surprised to learn that nearly 46 percent of gifted people surveyed worked in the humanities, while only 18 percent of those with average intelligence did; and that only 22 percent of the gifted worked in STEM professions, whereas 26 percent of those with average intelligence did. Similar proportions of the gifted and non-gifted worked in the natural sciences.

Most surprising was that only 11 percent of gifted people chose economic or legal professions, while almost 27 percent of the non-gifted went into economics or law.


  1. Nauta, Arnolda & Corten, F. (2002). Gifted adults in work. TBV. 10. 332-335. ↩︎



80 responses to “Characteristics of the Gifted”

  1. Jo Avatar
    Jo

    Hi, I came across this site as I am interested to know more about myself.

    I am 33 years old and I developed an artistic talent for drawing at around about the age of five. Inspired first by comics, I began to copy drawings. This led me into writing and illustrating a number of my own stories between ages 8-14 yrs. I picked up both talents again around age 18, but didn’t nurture them much because I was working. Since the age of 30, I’ve returned to writing regularly and still draw. My work friends have said I’m really good at drawings–that one of my drawings looked almost professional.

    I undertook my GCSEs at the age of 14 and that was when my drawing and writing stopped, primarily because my parents wanted me to concentrate more on earning good grades. They predicted I’d make one B and one C, but by the time I left school I had achieved two B’s and three C’s. I managed to get into college, where I graduated with two A levels and three Advanced Subsidiaries (the first half of the A Level).

    Sometime thereafter I took an online IQ test, and my score was 118 at that time. My stepdad maintains that I’m highly intelligent because of my general knowledge and ability to answer obscure questions when we watch TV quiz programmes. I don’t think my IQ is all that good: a second IQ test scored me at 119.

    Even so, I identify with many of the characteristics of the gifted you wrote about. I feel isolated from people sometimes; I have quite sensitive emotions and they can become very changeable at times. People at work have noted I am quick and accurate in my job. In my first role there I inputted stock transfers and updated spreadsheets for trade commissions. In my second role I input deposit amounts for tenancy/landlord claims and matched up evidence claim holders sent in with their declaration forms. I picked up both roles quickly and am also able to touch type, and do it very fast. In a previous job I was tasked to look for 800 files and brought the outstanding balance down to 13 within three days. I’ve been nominated, but not shortlisted, for prominent awards due to my performance at work.

    I recently undertook a Myers-Brigg test and my results indicate I am an INFJ. This seems to ring true to me since I have a moral sense of right and wrong, I fight passionately for my causes etc. I am imaginative and I seem to have an intuition for certain people and things. There have been occasions where I have had to shut myself away from others because of an overload of sensory triggers–noise and crowds seem to be the worst culprits people. People at work have said I am “moody.” My confidence is easily shattered and it can take me awhile for it to boost. My confidence never seems to reach a pinnacle despite the number and context of my achievements.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that I have an INFJ personality, learned and cultivated a talent at the age of five. My IQ of 119 isn’t all that impressive, compared with one of 180 mentioned by another person posting here. Maybe I will never know where I am in this life I lead and I am simply just an enigma or anomaly.

    Thank you for reading.

    1. Eve Avatar

      Hi, Jo, and thank you for reading and responding. I appreciate that you shared so sincerely and openly about yourself and how you’ve gone along through life. It’s clear to me that you’re a gifted person–artistic, creative, observant, responsive, aware, and intelligent. What is intelligence? It’s the capacity to learn, understand, and adapt. You’ve done this over and over again at work, and I’ve no doubt it’s also how you’ve approached everyday life.

      An online IQ test is a generalized, brief suggestion pointing to where on the bell curve we may perform if comparing our ability to learn, reason, and adapt with that of many, many others. If you were to take a lengthy test administered by someone certified to assess IQ. Neither kind of test predicts what a person will do with their intelligence.

      An average IQ score falls somewhere between 85 and 115, so if your online score correlates to your IQ, you would have a high IQ–among the top 15%. An IQ of 110+ equips a person to attain a college level education if they want one. An IQ of 115+ makes a person capable of meeting the cognitive demands of almost any profession.

      I’d agree with your stepdad, Jo: you are most likely gifted with intelligence in the top 15% of people. Keep in mind that an IQ of 124+ qualifies a person for membership in a ‘high IQ’ society–your casual little online IQ test has you at that threshold.

      I hope, therefore, that you’ll go gentle with yourself as you write about the enigmatic anomaly of Jo. You’re wonderfully made and obviously able to bring value to every place you work–and your interpersonal relationships. The image of sitting with you, watching a game show, and hearing you blurt out the answers while my gears are still grinding makes me smile.

  2. DOMSAN Avatar
    DOMSAN

    Well good day to you all. I was wondering for a long time whether I just have a normal, above average, or superior IQ. Well here are the details:

    First, when I was a little boy (about 3 years old and above), I will get these episodes wherein I was so focused at certain scenes that I manage to ignore everything else that are happening. I was able to be accelerated to prep school so I did not go to kindergarten. Being small and too young to defend myself, I was sometimes bullied there although some of my classmates back then were actually decent people.

    After that, I graduated to elementary, transferred to a new school, and was faced with whole new difficulties. One of my teachers was scolding me for not doing all of my handwork. I used to rely on my parents for my homework since I was too young to it by myself but I was forced to adapt. Fortunately I managed to overcome my challenges.

    During my early elementary days, I tend to play with my classmates. I was not really the isolated type though I did not have any close friends. Just acquaintances. I also managed to get awards for just being academically excellent in a few subjects (not that impressive huh). My usual pastime at home were reading books. Particularly science and dinosaur books.

    It was not that hard academically to keep up though I did get a few scuffles with math. The problems came around grade 4. There were a bunch of new classmates around and there are some of them that I do not really like that much. Parts of their personalities were somewhat distasteful.

    I almost forgot to mention that I was really sensitive as a child. I cried for the simplest things. Even now I am still a little sensitive though I managed to control my sensitivities. I was also somewhat perfectionistic. There was this one time during first grade that I cried for not answering a question correctly.

    Continuing on, I noticed that my self-esteem was low at that time. Not that helpful when you are so sensitive. Worse, my parents divorced during my fifth grade. I started to become lazy with my studies and lose motivation. Got only two close friends while there are ongoing civil wars in the class. I was confused with all of these BS and I cannot do anything about them. I also started to get sick a lot more.

    I was also not doing my projects and letting just other people do them. Believe me, I have a principle of doing things on my own. But since I was lacking confidence in myself, perfectionistic, lazy, and was slow, I just let someone do them.

    I manage to graduate to high school despite my setbacks but during that time I was also bullied. Bullied more than I can possibly hope. I manage to find a group of friends who were also social outcasts. Academics were way better back then though and I did manage to get awards again.

    About 4th year high school, I started to become more expressive and aware of the things happening around me. I managed to bring back curiosity and a little intelligence to myself. I began to notice how selfish people can be and how wrong they can be at times. I tried a few times to correct them but do not get positive results since most of the time the way I speak can be hurtful to others.

    I am currently going to take my second year in my B.S. Biology and I am somewhat at ease right now. Learning that not everything will go your way no matter how much you try to deduce possible outcomes in certain events. Also, you learn to accept humans the way they are even though I somewhat find that difficult at times. I can also be socially inept. There are times that I am so nervous that I utter wrong responses in conversations.

    I am about ninety percent sure that I have a mental disorder. Probably cyclothymia (I’m no expert at these topics) since I get episodes of being moderately depressed and (in worse episodes) thinking about suicide. There are also periods wherein I am overly happy and periods wherein I am just normal. I also tend to daydream too much on occasions. Sometimes I can control it but there are times that my brain is in overdrive.

    What do you guys think? Anyway, thank you for reading this and sorry for such a long comment.

    1. Eve Avatar

      Hello, Dom, and thank you for your comments. So much about what you shared resonates with comments and stories from others. As so often occurs, children with some variety of giftedness are often overlooked as teachers manage large classrooms of children. The more unusual a child’s personality or temperament, or functional intelligence, etc. are, the more likely they’ll grow up feeling sa you did: somewhat isolated, sidelined, etc.

      People with high intelligence (in the top 15% of IQ, or gifted musically, artistically, scientifically, etc.) do tend to feel more isolated, and also tend to depression. Why is this? Well, as you wrote, during high school you “began to notice how selfish people can be and how wrong they can be at times.” Seeing human nature and the world as they are does tend toward depression, doesn’t it?

      In your shoes, I’d continue to take the time to get to know myself better and better. Read widely. Learn from other ‘oddballs’ who have found a path to peace. Get into psychoanalysis; analyze yourself through your dreams–this is a learnable skill, and useful for a daydreamer who quite probably also dreams by night.

      I wish you the best and hope you visit again. One day I hope to build at least a virtual community where we can talk about the things we don’t get to talk about in daily life. For now, I’ll be around and keep The Third Eve alive, even if not lively. I do appreciate the generosity you show in sharing your story and responding. This is why I continue to write essays, articles, and blogs.

  3. kookaburra16 Avatar

    Hello I read these comments and one of yours in which you said “we’re all, after all, same.” This was comforting, since we do all share the need to love and be loved, and belong etc.

    I have been fighting through the same things as you mentioned in your article and over the last few months I started feeling that I have developed ADHD. I graduated out of medical school as I am passionate about medicine. I was always among top scorers before medical school, but while at med school, many other topics and interests also attracted me. My thinking process would go round and round, making it very difficult for me to study for exams. I somehow managed med school while faking social skills and keeping calm. I could never have friends who were like me–unconcerned about results and just interested in learning.

    After I finished that part of med school, I felt at peace because I could stay home and read, or travel, or play music. I’m an INTP. Over-sensitivity with others makes me avoid them, and lately issues in my family have caused suffering that affects me a lot.

    In my country we have a separate exam for specialization. I have been studying for the past one year for that, but with so many things going on in my mind, sometimes I’m afraid I’ll become insane. It’s hard for me to do selective reading, so a lack of results takes a heavy toll on my self esteem. I have high expectations of myself and feel guilty of disappointing my parents. They are among the two or three people I talk to.

    At younger age, I could cope in a better way. I never felt the anxiety to perform then. I used to sing, play musical instruments, write poetry, read a lot and score well academically too. I was a happy, jolly kid then. I wish I could go back to being that way, and not having to perform. This stretch with lack of results has made me doubt myself and my abilities. I detest going to pubs to drink and hang out like my friends do. It’s hard to find a common denominator with them.

    I am 25 now and understand that everyone appreciates kindness, good gestures, and love. I share such a relationship with few and do it wholeheartedly and with love. With others I try being polite and nice, but I can’t stretch it for long. People start calling again and again, and become hard to put off. I am accused of not caring about these friends, though I have never considered then as friends and was just being nice. I am having a bad phase. Writing this down helped me. Thank you.

  4. Johan Avatar
    Johan

    I’m feeling it, with IQ scores of 180 for the Malaysian Mensa when I was 18 did open new horizons for me. But then you realise that how irrational people can be. I would like to be normal but I can’t. I pity the society for not seeking out intelligent children out at a young age but instead instilling mediocre values upon them. Maybe that’s the balance of life, the intelligent ones are pulled down to mediocre level by the general population. Only gifted and privileged children gets their tickets to perform to the fullest.

  5. Life Avatar

    Haha, I know this is an old post, but it makes me laugh. This is an almost picture perfect description of me. Luckily for me, it seems, I got the long end of the straw. I grew up in a supportive environment and found another odd person like me. Several, actually. Our conversations were always seemingly random and left many people confused, but we could follow them perfectly. We each learned how to effectively communicate with our other peers, in time, but until then we were Life rafts for each other. I took the test when I was younger, and the test said I was an INTP. Took it today and it has yet to change.

  6. expressions Avatar

    I’m currently 18, and I’ve had selective mutism sense second grade. However, I have never felt anxiety strongly, which is a trademark of the condition. For years I wondered why it was so hard to talk with other kids, and I wondered why other kids weren’t discussing the grand endeavors of the mind like I did. I was always isolated and it seemed nobody liked me. I felt like a failure, unintelligent. In class, I would feel dumb when other people came up with answers that everybody seemed to know automatically, while my answers were silly and complicated.
    Recently I discovered the possibility that I am indeed gifted and that nobody thinks the way I do at all. I was thrilled to learn and it has opened new doors of potential for me. I’m currently developing experimental tactics to improve my own brain function and improve my thought processes. I’m also attempting to increase my communication by tuning into others perspectives and it is indeed wonderful. I just wish that I discovered earlier!
    This post is really clear, I love it, thank you!

    1. Eve Avatar

      Hello, Expressions, and welcome to The Third Eve. Thank you for your comments. I think that many people whose IQ or temperament (personality) types (or both) are unusual feel isolated or unintelligent in the regular classroom. Since people with IQs in the gifted range score in the top 1-3% on standardized tests of intelligence, and some personality types occur in only 2-3% of the population, it’s possible to have both a high IQ and an unusual personality type, and go through life feeling isolated most of the time.

      I suggest you visit the Humanetrics web site ( http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp ) to take an online version of the Myers-Briggs Temperament Inventory (MBTI). This will help you identify your temperament type according to the MBTI, which is a standardized test that has been widely used for decades. Carl Jung first theorized about these different personality types.

      I suggest this because perhaps your personality type is among the minority, AND you may have a high IQ, which could mean that you’ve been surrounded by people unlike yourself. Supposing a person with an IQ in the top 1% of the population has the temperament type of INFJ, INTJ, or INTP. These personality types occur in only 1-2.5% of the population. In a class of 30 other students, it is unlikely that there will be one person of like intelligence and personality. In a graduating class of 1,000 students, at most 25 students may have a similar personality type and IQ. Going through life this way makes an unusual person feel, well… unusual! You can see the frequency of personality types in the general population and by gender here: http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/population-gender/

      My own IQ and temperament type place me in a group of about 0.5% of individuals everywhere. I’ve felt (and been) the oddball my entire life. While I learned to fake “normal” and get along well with others, it certainly caused me pain in my youth. The typical teenage and young adult complaint that “nobody understands me” was actually, in a way, true! Haha! However, the good news is that my spiritual and philosophical journeys taught me that we’re all, after all, the same. We all want love, acceptance, safety, and companions for the road, among other things.

      Stay in touch. I will try to write regularly again. This post has been one of the most popular posts I’ve written over the years, and I think I need to write more about intelligence. Thank you for your comments, and I wish you the best on your journey. Your intelligent way of solving social problems is spot-on for someone with superior problem-solving skills. It’s intelligent. The average Joe wouldn’t try to change anything. The fact that you started by working on yourself is significant, and I applaud you for that. Take care!

    2. Aro Avatar
      Aro

      Hi, i was in the same situation. No body understand me and i was thinking of their conversation as so shallow, and when when i attempted to join in they would laugh at me and the way and speed of thinking. Because of that I started to interest in to psychology and neurology, new ways of thinking and self development. Just to know how to speak to them :D. Know i think the same ” I just wish that I discovered earlier”. that would save me a lot of pain. hah but know i can say it’s easer to live but finding the love one that can keep up with you… that’s the biggest challenge.

  7. overexcitable Avatar

    Reblogged this on Overexcitable.

  8. Jacob Eghor Weaver Avatar
    Jacob Eghor Weaver

    I have to compliment.The information you shared was outstanding!That is my opinion.Thank you.

  9. Frode grødem Avatar
    Frode grødem

    This was THE most fascinating article I’ve ever read and if all of these words are correct, then it all makes sense more then ever. Thanks for the article–I really needed guidance, and I just got to the right webpage at the right time; will link this to facebook, thx m8! d(n_n)b

  10. Douglas Eby Avatar

    Thanks for this stimulating post. The study group finding that “no gifted people chose artistic professions” is strange. In the article [on my High Ability site] “Giftedness in the work environment” by Noks Nauta, Sieuwke Ronner, there is a summary: “A gifted individual is a quick and clever thinker, who is able to deal with complex matters. Autonomous, curious and passionate. A sensitive and emotionally rich person, living intensely. He or she enjoys being creative.” http://highability.org/443/giftedness-in-the-work-environment/

  11. U.N. Owen Avatar
    U.N. Owen

    Quite a few of the parameters fit. I never saw myself as gifted. Got some type of IQ test as a child and accroding to my family apparently I scored really high because I could have skipped several grades and got put into these special programs. Never saw myself as smart but my folks did. Which meant that instead of being rewarded for excellence I was expected to do so.
    But chastised and punished for any minor screw ups. And sometimes the way I understood lessons was different then what they taught. And I could not explain how because it was just no way. Like some type of blast in my mind that went bang and there it is.

    Which pretty much made me scared of doing anything wrong. And that in turn made me create an alter personality that was a juvenile delinquent and pretty much did my best to break the rules in any and every way possible. Even to the point that I did many very dangerous things because I figured if I died I would not have to worry about not living up to standards. Unfortunately I sruvived and then tried suicide a couple of times.

    Change interests like most people change underwear. And yet some things just stick with me and I always question why the limits are not pushed. Like why certain advanced tech (Nikola Tesla) was not followed. A guy created a gravitic engine in the 1953 and him and his notes just disappeared. Thing is I hate working in any field because you always have to do it their way and the people who make the rules do not do the job daily. I’d rather do something simple like mow lawns or move furniture and make a ton of money so I can spend my free time doing different things that actually interest me.

    Then again since I have never done anything noteworthy or wrold changing, I’m just an average human. Or maybe less than human. I may have some of the issues but I am in no way gifted.

    1. The Lizard King Avatar
      The Lizard King

      I understand exactly what you’re saying, and agree 100%. I’ve never heard of anyone else’s story so similar to my own, so just know that I sympathize with you… Those dumbasses in charge just need to leave it up to the smarties haha.

      1. nichirenx Avatar

        The Lizard King, (it is me U.N. Owen because I lost my last account info).
        At least someone understands. And that for me is a gift greater than anything.
        Thank you for that my friend.

  12. S.E. Avatar
    S.E.

    I just wanted to say ‘thank you’. I am in my 40s now and was never considered intelligent by my family, only strange, and someone to be ashamed of. My family still treats me as a stupid person, unable to think rationally or figure out that 2 + 2 = 4. It hurts, and my life has not evolved like most people’s lives. It died, in many ways, when I was little. When you describe the traits of the intelligent, I feel a sigh of relief. Finally someone understands that I have no ill intent because I prefer idealism and truth to lies, and I am not dumb simply because I react quickly and differently than expected. After I started googling the behavior of the high IQ people, I felt a great relief. Of course, if I tell my family this (dad and siblings), they will scoff and shake their heads, as usual, but it helps *me*. And for that, I thank you.

    1. Noelle Avatar
      Noelle

      I have been thinking that my son is gifted and not ADHD. I am glad I read your comment because it really shows me how important it is that I do all I can to support his giftedness and not let his school bully me into medicating him.

      1. Eve Avatar

        Welcome, Noelle. I’m glad this article was helpful. Perhaps you can meet with the school counselor and request intelligence testing before your son is saddled with a diagnosis. Although the school counselor is likely to be aware of the research.

  13. Hoo Ba Loo Avatar

    None of you give me the impression of being smart.

    1. Eve Avatar

      You know what Forrest Gump’s mama said, eh? “Smart is as smart does.”

  14. 1/8th of a complete person Avatar

    I have read this site with mostly fondness and some disdain. I am one of the retarded lifers referred to as the ‘gifted’. I suffered an imitation childhood due to my father recognizing my ‘gifts’. These include an above average IQ, high creativity which is accompanied by tagalong foibles, low latent inhibition, and a protective pattern of selective memory. I do dabble in some forms of artistic venture (if you consider writing tv commercials artistic). However, I do tire quickly of any repetition that forms. Originality begets conformity. When it does I walk away.

    The parameters of my mind can at times expand at will to infinite directions that somehow loop back to form the original thought with all bases covered. To remember what has been and somehow see what is,and what will be, without leaving the subject for one second, can be maddening! No one understands how a thought can become a reality and a solution complete with future problems in the span of a few seconds. I become doubted immediately, even doubting myself at times.

    One of the problems is that when I have let someone in on my ‘abilities’ I feel they have made me their ‘science project’ ‘lab rat’ ‘ source of inquisitive conversations with single-minded, one dimensional individuals who have written books on the subject.’ This is disheartening. I feel belittled and will introvert myself to protection mode. In this state I form walls that are difficult to break through. I hide myself among the ‘less gifted’ and take on their tendencies so as not to be ‘displayed’.

    My goal in life is actually very simple: to somehow be accepted as I am without having to hide. I am tired of creating a me that doesn’t exist just so I can ‘fit in’.

  15. syzygyhappens Avatar
    syzygyhappens

    Wow-I just found this web site and the timing is spot on. I have MS and had a bizarre childhood; I thought I was broken, and so did others. I was tested for cognitive problems and found out I am “very bright–98th percentile”. After searching for more information, I’ve found many of my issues aren’t pathology–I’m just smart and no one understood this about me. I wish I was told about this years ago. My journey would have been much easier.

    I feel like I’m home instead of feeling like I’m from another planet. Thank you Eve!

    1. Eve Avatar

      Syzygy, thanks so much for your response to an article that continues to receive interest, though published in 2008. Not enough information is published about giftedness in general, and specifically what to expect if you (or someone you love) has a high IQ. What next?

      Welcome to the planet, Syzygy. 🙂

  16. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
    Hind's Feet in High Places

    What is the Saturn reaching you refer to?

    1. Eve Avatar

      I write about Saturn from time to time, but a good intro to the archetypal or mythological qualities the planet (and god) represent can be found in my introductory post here at The Third Eve, “Malefic Saturn.”

  17. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
    Hind's Feet in High Places

    I was always under the impression from what I observed of other students throughout my school years, was that all the “intelligent” students were the popular ones, I don’t know if this is just a college-academic and arts/football town thing. This made me feel even more stupid. I couldn’t figure out how to be normal and not weird.
    My husband upset me a little yesterday, he said he is weird. I never thought so, people like him. He is fun and funny, tells great stories too.

  18. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
    Hind's Feet in High Places

    I was always under the impression from what I observed of other students throughout my school years, was that all the “intelligent” students were the popular ones, I don’t know if this is just a college-academic and arts/football town thing. This made me feel even more stupid. I couldn’t figure out how to be normal and not weird.
    My husband upset me a little yesterday, he said he is weird. I never thought so, people like him. He is fun and funny, tells great stories too.

  19. Lee Avatar
    Lee

    Eve, I’d like to ask you some questions about underachieving gifted children, but there is not sufficient space here for me to do so. Any way I can contact you with a more lengthy message?

    1. Eve Avatar

      Hi, Lee! I’d welcome a conversation with you. There’s a contact form here. Just drop me a line, which will go straight to my email, from whence I’ll contact you.

  20. hated_one Avatar
    hated_one

    I had to research the Saturn reference, since the only mythology I’ve ever known is aka “religion.”

    When I mentioned my atheism, perhaps the reason wasn’t too clear: I don’t believe there will be a paradise after death. This motivates my behavior. In this life, I’m going to take what I want out of it before I’m done with it, period. Life has taken enough out of me as is. I’ve given all I’m personally able to give to the less fortunate. I’m not Mother Theresa and never will be.

    My Saturn has, in fact, come back around. I’m dealing with it now, and you’re bearing witness to my post-reflection conclusions and changes. The first 26 years of my life were a struggle of swimming out of Hades. I’m just now taking in my first deep breaths of fresh air–filling my lungs and loving every minute of it. I’ve never felt more myself.

    If it makes you feel better, my “bleed ’em dry” reference was sarcastic, exaggerated metaphor. 😉 I’d never be Ken Lay and would probably be applauded for my business ethics. In fact, I’ve quit over half my jobs due to ethical and moral concerns. As an atheist, my philosophy is more Christ-like than those of 99% of Christians I’ve met.

  21. hated_one Avatar
    hated_one

    I actually bookmarked this page; but, you’re right, I wasn’t going to make a concerted effort to return. I just happened to need a bookmark way at the bottom and decided to take a detour here instead. I’ll start by saying that I was in a foul mood when I posted last time, which shows.

    Modern psychology, in general, is a fraud. I’ve already wasted over a decade of my life studying it: no more. I’m an atheist and I don’t have any moral qualms about neglecting those who neglect their self, not any more. By nature, I simply lack the sympathy for anyone who destroys their self (myself included)…

    I do enjoy helping people. I have a passion for analyzing and understanding many different problems and constructing creative, practical solutions. However, I refuse to allow myself to be kicked around and put down by a majority that neglects and abuses their most valuable commodities religiously.

    This has nothing to do with pessimism and everything to do with a calm, cold, rational acceptance of the historical and inevitable facts of human existence.

    Over 90% of all living species have gone extinct–it’s a foregone conclusion that humanity probably will too.

    I’m not abandoning the humanities because I’ve abandoned all hope for humanity. I still have plenty of hope, and I’m still a hopeless romantic with a dash of optimism. If I wasn’t I would’ve blown my brains out long ago; the fact still remains, however, that if humanity expects to survive itself, and if I know myself as well as I think I do, my natural talents and abilities will be best applied in business settings, generally.

    I have plenty of empathy, what I lack is sympathy for those of us (again, myself included) who are the primary cause of our most dire problems. Fess up your fuck ups and fix it. I do have a passion for helping others, but I have too much sympathy for those who CANNOT help themselves, in other words, I know I couldn’t emotionally handle being a nurse to the invalid, my heart would break and I would cry like a twelve year old girl (I’d never get laid again). I can emotionally handle telling an unreasonable entrepreneur that his actions are unreasonable, or commendable. I can emotionally handle rejection (desensitized, and indestructible ego). I can’t emotionally handle ignorant authority figures.

    The ONLY choice for me to make, if I’m to Truly find self-fulfillment, is corporate execution and business development. I’m too aggressive by nature. I’ll show my compassion through donations. But, I cannot tolerate 99% of authority figures, so, the only solution is to BE the authority figure. And, so it will be. If bettering the worst half of humanity is a by product of my efforts, then it is a pleasant unintended consequence, and we all die happy.

    take care

    1. Noelle Avatar
      Noelle

      Hated One, would you like to donate to getting my son out of public school?

  22. Eve Avatar

    Vunderkid, if you’ve seen the movie Mystery Men you’ll know what I mean when I say that your comment reminded me of the super-hero called The Sphinx. 😉

  23. Eve Avatar

    Hated One, although I have my doubts about whether you’ll return or not, I’m going to respond as if you will.

    I agree with you that there’s a tendency to level the playing field in our culture because people want to pound the nail that sticks up. This seems to usually be the case among human beings. My family and I recently began watching the competitive reality show, “Big Brother.” It’s popular and stupid, but quite telling about human nature–which is probably why people watch it. The housemates who stood out were targeted and taken out because they were different. The road to survival on that show is to refuse to stick out in any way until the bitter end. My observation is that this is a necessary survival tactic in groups of any variety–even in many small groups.

  24. vunderkid Avatar
    vunderkid

    Sacrificing the individual for the sake of the collective creates individuals who sacrifice the collective for the sake of self.

  25. hated_one Avatar
    hated_one

    Second thought:

    Highly intelligent people are also more readily ridiculed and demeaned for their mistakes, punished much more quickly and harshly: after all, if we’re so ‘intelligent,’ we’d know better.

    Intelligent people become introverts precisely because of attitudes like this among the general population. This is why I’m not going to be a low-paid helper in this culture, but will get my MBA and make my money by using the greed and stupidity of others. I’ve got enough IQ and EQ to do it, and I will.

  26. hated_one Avatar
    hated_one

    Not sure how to approach this, but feel compelled to toss my 2-cents in. A brief intro: I’m an autodidact dx with ADHD. Passed the Mensa test but refused membership. I refuse all group memberships at this point. I’m male, 27 years old, raised by an extraordinarily emotionally unstable single mother who went through several abusive relationships before settling down with a foundry-pounding truck driver with the IQ of a fencepost. (Every post should include a Tom Waits reference, right?) For the most part, I’ve learned how to get along socially: I simply choose to be myself instead of catering to the majority.

    Most people are deeply insecure and self-absorbed to begin with, so, I place very little faith in standardized tests, and absolutely abhor the fallible and ineffective “normalization” revolution that normal, average people have forced on all of us. The EQ hype will blow over once the average psych students and professors get over themselves. The emphasis on EQ and emotional intelligence is nothing but a manifestation of the envy the average have for those with high IQ. This way, stupid people feel some sense of accomplishment for being timid and weak by nature, and a way of intelligent people to avoid helping stupid people develop–by praising them for their sympathetic/empathetic natures.

    The summary reads like this:

    Humanity has spent thousands of years treating its own kind like dogs, and we still do, quite regularly and systematically. The end product is human beings who act like dogs. They might nuzzle up to you now and then, or try to lick your hand to gain your favor and affection, but all they really want is food, shelter, and protection. Depending on how they were treated as pups, or because of their DNA, they won’t hesitate to bite your hand off at the slightest sign that their well-being is threatened. Because humans are often more emotionally unstable than dogs, we bite more frequently

    How is this genius doing? Despite scoring in the 99th percentile in both IQ and EQ testing; despite profound independent study in psychology, history, philosophy; despite being able to perform quite well in several sales occupations (retail/door to door/non-profit fundraising); despite being one of the more well-rounded geniuses you’d probably ever meet–I still struggle to stay gainfully employed and struggle to find employment regularly. It doesn’t have much of anything to do with any of the stereotypical, cliche, unfounded, absurd bullshit put forth by people [edited out personal attack]–and has everything to do with the fact that, despite all of our posturing as “humans,” humanity is still fully loaded with a majority that more closely resembles Neanderthals.

    It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out:

    The brightest minds aren’t in business. The brightest minds aren’t in government. The brightest minds are so few and far between that they are easily isolated and cast aside long before they’re allowed to compete with the majority of dullards. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that hiring a genius isn’t good for a dullard’s job security.

    Take care peeps.

  27. chasing the deck Avatar
    chasing the deck

    No solace have I ever found in consonants or common ground.

  28. Eve Avatar

    Caroline, you make some good observations. You probably already know that there are varieties of intelligence, including intelligence that can’t be measured by a standardized IQ test. Psychologists have been developing finer tools, but even now, the most commonly used tests measure only certain types of intelligence. I caution people not to assume they are not gifted just because their achievement test score didn’t place them in the top 2% on a standardized test. Albert Einstein was gifted but did not perform well on such tests or in school. This is true of many geniuses. So, genius is as genius does.

    It’s also a developmental trait to tire of cliche relationships and people after a certain point, if a person is growing and developing. Many do not, and so are satisfied with the mundane their entire lives. Others want more, so grow bored with the status quo. This may be a different type of development of consciousness–also not measurable on an IQ test.

    Then there’s the problem you mention, which is professionals who are highly educated but not socially intelligent or gifted. There are varieties of giftedness, and a many different types of giftedness are overlooked.

  29. chasing the deck Avatar
    chasing the deck

    Unfortunatly choices made by the parents of gifted children often determine how that child will develop. I feel like a feather on the surface of the ocean.

  30. Caroline Avatar

    “……..You probably already know that there are varieties of intelligence, including intelligence that can’t be measured by a standardized IQ test…….”.

    I’ve long thought this, and opine that “intelligence” can’t be caught in one basket, so to speak, and that there are many difference kinds of intelligence.

    So we are, all of us, (I think) individually, up there (high) in some types of “intelligence” and down there (low) in other types of “intelligence”.

    I’m not a psychologist, and so am not familiar with what is actually measured in intelligence tests today (do they include EQ?)

    But from my memories of having taken intelligence tests when at high school, they (the intelligence tests) seemed to emphasize quickness, in particularly quickness in solving problems, with everything else marginalized.

    In a previous blog, which I kept in another incarnation, I wrote a piece about “intelligence”, and intelligence tests, based on my own experience of them, and on my observations of supposedly intelligent people in high places, particularly in the highest echelons of government, saying and doing such asinine and unintelligent things.

    Here, for what it’s worth, is a snippet of what I wrote:

    “……..There has been much discussion over I don’t know how many years, about whether IQ tests actually measure ‘intelligence’ – a word with much emotional baggage. But might it not be more accurate to say that IQ tests measure ‘cleverness’ rather than ‘intelligence’; so if you do well on an IQ test, you are ‘clever’ rather than ‘intelligent’?

    Looking at the dictionary, I see the two words have somewhat similar definitions, but I think to be ‘intelligent’ implies something deeper, more profound than being ‘clever’ – a word implying something more trivial.

    So we speak condescendingly of someone being a ‘clever fellow’, or, if they are carrying cleverness to an absurd length, of being ‘too clever by half’.

    Since IQ tests emphasize quickness and the solving of puzzles, I believe it would be more accurate to say they measure ‘cleverness’.

    So why not, then, change the name of the ‘IQ test’ to the ‘CQ (cleverness quotient) test’? It would eliminate so much confusion and angry debate.

    Someone having a low or merely average ‘CQ’, could still be respected because this would say nothing about their sagacity, emotional maturity, ability to look at issues deeply, or to take the long view, for these attributes have nothing to do with quickness or speed, which are so prized by the Businessman, who is the one who shapes the values of our modern society, of which the ‘IQ test’ is a part and parcel.

    Meanwhile we will continue to worship the traditional IQ test, from which emerge the clever ones, the Smart-Alecks, the Hot-Shots, who will continue to run our governments and corporations.

    So we shouldn’t be surprised when we see rampant stupidity as the normal state of affairs in all the corridors of power – no matter where in the world they are – for they are the domain of the clever and the quick, the Smart-Alecks and the Hot-Shots.

    It is THEY – not the wise, nor the thoughtful, nor the sensitive, nor the emotionally-mature, nor the meek – who have inherited the earth.

    It is THEY who propel us to our extinction……..”

    1. Eve Avatar

      Caroline, I’ve been reading Rumi, and this poem reminded me of this discussion:

      Two Kinds of Intelligence

      There are two kinds of intelligence: One acquired,
      as a child in school memorizes facts and concepts
      from books and from what the teacher says,
      collecting information from the traditional sciences
      as well as from the new sciences.
      With such intelligence you rise in the world.
      You get ranked ahead or behind others
      in regard to your competence in retaining
      information. You stroll with this intelligence
      in and out of fields of knowledge, getting always more
      marks on your preserving tablets.
      There is another kind of tablet, one
      already completed and preserved inside you.
      A spring overflowing its springbox. A freshness
      in the center of the chest. This other intelligence
      does not turn yellow or stagnate. It’s fluid,
      and it doesn’t move from outside to inside
      through the conduits of plumbing-learning.
      This second knowing is a fountainhead
      from within you, moving out.

      (Mathnawi IV:1960-1968)

    2. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind's Feet in High Places

      “Businessman, who is the one who shapes the values of our modern society,…”

      I had the feeling that this is true…

      I truly despise the characteristics that make up a “businessman”, when you cut away all the fast talk and suave appearance all that’s left is shallowness and stupidity, and what really gets me is how Everyone and their dog wants to act just like them, keepin’ up with the joneses…
      Shallow and stupid people… man, they make me feel smart! Sorry, that just makes me angrier than all hell.

      1. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
        Hind's Feet in High Places

        Maybe I shouldn’t speak in generalities…

        There is an attitude of superiority that comes along with the shallow way of our society this makes me very angry. It’s very evident when you hit the road… all the inconsiderate people come out to play, and that’s not too economical or safe!!

  31. Caroline Avatar

    “…….I’m going through a bit of a crisis in my third half of life, and part of the crisis is that I can’t stand being around very many normal people. I thought I might solve my problem by trying to get more abnormal people in my life………..”.

    I can ABSOLUTELY relate to that!!!

    But anyone reading your summation of Mensa’s findings should read it with caution, since I, who definitely am NOT gifted, have many of the characteristics described in your posting!!!

    I wonder, though, whether being “gifted” is always synonymous with being “intelligent”, in the sense of having a very high IQ.

    I believe that to be accepted into law school, or medical school, you have to have a very high IQ, and therefore be very “intelligent”.

    But I have come across many lawyers and many doctors, who, while they may be excellent at finding loopholes in the law, or diagnosing a disease, would seem to be stupid, insensitive, intellectually incurious, and altogether unintelligent in the areas of life outside their professions.

  32. Caroline Avatar

    Quite recent history has shown wonderful examples of groupthink.

    An example often trotted out in business management courses is the Bay of Pigs debacle – John F Kennedy’s decision to invade Cuba, using Cuban exiles to do this. Everyone in Kennedy’s inner circle agreed with the decision, and it was only afterwards when they were out of government that they admitted it was stupid, and had known this deep down at the time, but had suppressed their considerable doubts.

    But they agreed at the time because no-one wanted to be the odd-man out, and thus forfeit the friendship of their esteemed colleagues, or be cast out of the group.

    It’s only when people are expelled from the group that they tell the truth, blow the whistle. Think of John Dean in the Nixon administration, or Scott McClellan in the Bush administration. This is just for starters.

    Think of other disasters like the decisions to invade Vietnam, or Iraq. Or the possible forthcoming decision to bomb Iran. They are all examples of the dangers of groupthink.

    “……..If one has to compromise one’s thinking to be in the group, why are we in it? A higher or necessary purpose, probably……….?

    Often we have to be in the group because we have to be, like at work, or on juries. But once in the group, we form personal attachments to the others in it, and we don’t want to earn their enmity by disagreeing.

    But we are sometimes in groups because we choose to be in them. Feeling existentially alone and isolated, we yearn for the comfort of the group, to be in its loving embrace.

    To be thrown out is to be rejected, to be deprived of love. And who wants that?!!!

    1. Eve Avatar

      Caroline, Your take on groupthink is interesting. I’ll think about that. I’ve not looked at it that way before.

      One question that comes up, though, is this: if the intelligence of the individual group members does not go down (or maybe “act” down), then what are they doing with it? Just getting along, as you suggested?

      If one has to compromise one’s thinking to be in the group, why are we in it? A higher or necessary purpose, probably?

  33. lemonytree Avatar
    lemonytree

    Thank you…that was the idea, to feel refreshed by a thought. Am happy the name did strike a chord.
    Count me a fan of “The 3rd Eve”…a squeeze of tangy lemon for you.

  34. Douglas Eby Avatar

    High sensitivity also has emotional aspects, which can make working in “typical” corporate environments difficult for many of us. As for the finding “no gifted people in the study group chose artistic professions” – that is very strange, and may be a result of the sample size, design of questions, criteria for “artistic profession” etc – since many gifted people do choose creative work.

    1. BARBWIRED Avatar
      BARBWIRED

      Very interesting about lack of creative types/professions. I am not of Mensa calibre, but above average. I recently met a man I consider a creative genius. I’m an outside-the-box thinker, but this man’s mind goes to dimensions I’ve never dreamed of! His genius is contagious, which is wonderful. I’m looking for info/books on the creative type, so if anyone has suggestions please let me know.

  35. davidrochester Avatar

    Hmmmmm. Interesting.

    I have an entirely unsupportable theory about why the “gifted” (God, I hate that word) test group had no members who were professional artists.

    Being a successful professional artist requires a huge and healthy ego, or at the very least, an ability to deal with continual criticism and rejection. Most people I know who are exceptionally intelligent do not have either of those qualities, thanks to having been persecuted and ostracized as children.

    Therefore, while I think that all highly intelligent people are also creative, I think they are far more likely to be “closet” creatives, and to pursue art as an avocation rather than as a profession.

    1. Eve Avatar

      David, interesting perspective. It certainly is a possible explanation for the lack of artists in this particular study. Plenty of bright people I know think–no, know!–that they are right all the time. Even when they’re wrong; so yes, I think having to deal with criticism and rejection well would be required.

      Thanks for visiting. Oh–and I’ll bet someone doing a study somewhere could support your theory! 😉

  36. henitsirk Avatar

    I believe you! I guess I just always looked at it as just another clique, only this time it’s the smart people not the (necessarily) good-looking or cool or rich people. But like any other group, it depends on who’s there and how you click with them.

    Of course, if you really want abnormal people, just join the SCA 🙂

  37. Polémique Avatar
    Polémique

    I found your article interesting, but I disagree with a few points: High emotional intelligence (high EQ) is closely linked with a high IQ; many children who are highly gifted have an extraordinary sense for justice and integrate quite well into school dynamics. I believe that it is predominantly boys who can behave in an aggressive manner when they are bored because they aren’t enough intellectually challenged and many of the characteristics you described depict underachievers and not the gifted “norm.” Same with introversion. Many of these claims reinforce the stereotype from the “Tate ‘Wunderkind”‘ movie, where the main character – a little boy – was so gifted that he couldn’t make any friends; of course, he looked pale and sad throughout the movie until he made friend with the other ubersmart outcasts.

    1. Eve Avatar

      Polemique, thank you for your comments; you make good points. In this article I shared specific research by scientists who submitted it to Mensa Magazine. I think the author/researchers were on to something. Most of us have probably met an intelligent person who simply didn’t fit in, and seemed unable to fit in. It’s a problem for them in school and in the workplace. I was gratified to learn that social scientists are paying attention to this as a problem, even if it’s not a problem for most gifted people.

      I do agree with you that many intelligent folk also have high emotional intelligence. One would think that the two would go together; in my own life they have, and in the life of the other high IQ folks I know, it’s worked that way also. So I basically agree with you. However, stereotypes exist because people who fit them exist–that’s what I think.

  38. henitsirk Avatar

    I can relate to the part about being a Jack of All Trades, Master of None. A friend once told me I was like a wader, not a diver!

    I’d like to hear why you value being a Mensa member.

    1. Eve Avatar

      Why do I value being a Mensa member? Good question. I recently renewed my membership, which had been lapsed for over 10 years, putting ‘value’ in perspective.

      My answer today is that I enjoy their publications, and the connections to local Mensans. As I may have mentioned on the blog now and then (if I haven’t deleted them all), I’m going through a bit of a crisis in my third half of life, and part of the crisis is that I can’t stand being around very many normal people. I thought I might solve my problem by trying to add more abnormal people to my life.

      I have to admit this has helped. So, to answer the question, I value being a Mensa member because I meet so many abnormal people there. It feels like home.

      Yes, I’m chuckling. But I’m also serious. 😉

    2. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind’s Feet in High Places

      I’m like that too. Could never seriously become fully interested in any one subject that would get me a well paying career. I was a violinist for many years and had potential of being great (not famous great, but really good) I put all my effort and time into practicing. That’s all gone now, thanks to a private school with a non ambitious band (baby music shall we say…) I’m not saying we played out of tune, just the music would take you absolutely nowhere and I started playing Oboe as well. But, nothing ever came of any of it.
      Now I have my interests but they only extend to as far as what I want to know and leave out the useless (imo). Once it gets boring, I’m gone off to another subject.

      1. Toooob Avatar
        Toooob

        Hi there, I just did the personality test which I discovered I was type INFP and following the various threads on the subject, pertaining to these personality types described, it’s seems subjective because as a child, I was found to be in the top 1% IQ range. Even now, still meet the criteria & I think perpetuating the ideology that personality equates to intellect is a misguided fallacy, although I am not at all declaring the system is entirely inaccurate given the studies results, it holds some factual truths it’s disseminated in a very general way. But I am disagreeing with the labels that seem to identify intelligence and I do this in high regard to the history of my life and believe that there is more to it that this.

    3. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind’s Feet in High Places

      I’m like that too. Could never seriously become fully interested in any one subject that would get me a well paying career. I was a violinist for many years and had potential of being great (not famous great, but really good) I put all my effort and time into practicing. That’s all gone now, thanks to a private school with a non ambitious band (baby music shall we say…) I’m not saying we played out of tune, just the music would take you absolutely nowhere and I started playing Oboe as well. But, nothing ever came of any of it.
      Now I have my interests but they only extend to as far as what I want to know and leave out the useless (imo). Once it gets boring, I’m gone off to another subject.

  39. Eve Avatar

    Alida, I home schooled our bright but odd kids until they were old enough to hold their own, which age was different depending on the child. I am quite sure that my now 16-year-old would have been accused of having ADHD, though he did not and does not have ADHD–but there is not an acceptable gifted and talented program in our local schools. Finally, some good private schools opened up in our community and he did very well in 9th grade. This coming year he’ll be attending 10th grade in a traditional, private, all-day school. My husband and I are thrilled for him. Sitting in the orientation meetings and hearing the other parents and students speak about the school nearly made us cry with relief.

    I’m glad we waited; it was worth it. It has given our kids what they needed. I take it a year at a time with each child, mindful to care for their whole selves and not merely their intellects.

    Hopefully you’ll find paths and methods that work for your kids according to their needs and talents. Putting one’s child into someone else’s hands for five or six hours a day is a big decision that others seem to make easily. I understand why, but my different way of approaching parenting does make me feel the oddball–as usual.

    Your comment about everyone being ‘on’ something struck me. This seems to be the way of psychiatry these days. My psychiatrist friends complain that they are, these days, mere pill-pushers and no longer psychoanalysts. There’s not time to counsel clients. Someday I may write myself into exhaustion, writing on that topic. Suffice to say I believe you, and don’t want my children to join the ranks of the zombified.

    1. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind’s Feet in High Places

      I am excited to say that I will be joining the homeschooling group this year! I never thought I would want to because I am so impatient… But the freedom is so enticing. I am angry at the govt. school system for treating me like they literally own me and my son and I want out!! So, I’m getting out. He did have a very productive school year last year and I’m very proud of him. God gave him some wonderful teachers that kept him working and gave him so much encouragement.

      I have been on adderal and also on a new one can’t remember the name. I really liked them but, seeing that they would eventually make me look older than I am and mess with my teeth and other things I quit taking it. Couldn’t sleep anyway. I know I’ll never put my son on those drugs. I wasn’t zombified and it gave me energy to get things done and helped me focus. I was also taking an antidepressant that is also used for smoking cessation Welbutrin, it gets rid of all cravings ( I really really like it), raised my libido which I haven’t had much of one since I got married (depression maybe?), but along with those and more focus, I lost my spontaninaity (sp. forgot), sense of humor and creativity. I wonder if that stuff just suppresses your right brain so your left brain takes over?

    2. Noelle Avatar
      Noelle

      So, how did your son do at the private school? My son started kindergarten this year, I am convinced that he is gifted, the school and catholic family services are telling me adhd, without doing any kind of tests or ruling out anything else. After reading blogs and articles like this, I know I have to do everything I can to allow him to be himself. I thank you for sharing this information.

  40. The Lizard King Avatar
    The Lizard King

    I am happy that i found this forum right now. I’ve always felt like no one i know has any connection with me and they just cant understand, but today that’s all changed. I just spent the past 45 minutes reading everyone’s comments here and its nice to know that there are other people out there that have problems so similar. I don’t really feel like writing my whole life story or anything, because that would be really boring and time consuming, but i just had to say how much this page has really taught me.

    1. Eve Avatar

      Hi, there. I apologize that I haven’t responded earlier. Thank you for your comments. It’s interested me that this particular article has been one of the most-read at this site. Folks who are gifted share wonky traits and a sense of being ill-suited to this world. Many (if not most) internalize this, a painful error that one has to correct later. Hopefully we swing from blaming ourselves and/or blaming others to a middle path whereby we can accept ourselves and others and get on with the task of being who we are, and sharing whatever gifts we have with others.

    2. Girl101 Avatar
      Girl101

      I have pretty much felt the same way for years. I am 21 now and I still struggle to cope with being different. My mom just had a fight with me and told me that I think and act differently than other people and that’s my biggest problem. She hates my “individuality”; I just hate being so sensitive.

      Now I’m struggling not to hate myself, I’m just tired of being like this. I hate it. I hate life. Why can’t I be like other people? Everywhere I go i’m always the outsider, can’t connect or talk about the same things as others. I’m sick of it and sick of trying to change into a “better person”.

      1. been there Avatar
        been there

        i sure felt the same way you do, intensifying as i grew older, saw many psychs, counselors, had many diagnosis, alcoholism. i thought i was broken.

        now i believe it was giftedness that no-one recognized–but my quirks were pathologized. now i can see all those things i hated about myself as having actually come from a place of giftedness, not “brokenness” or “defectiveness”. PLEASE hang in there! it took some time and growth, but today, i am very very close with the mother i used to battle with, and i appreciate her sooo much!! i even see the specialness in my differentness from other people, and now so does my mom. hope i don’t offend, but have you tried pursuing spirituality and a personal relationship with a Higher Power? this has benefitted me tremendously! it all came to life for me with the simple but heartfelt prayer, of “help me.” blessings and love to you, and please have the compassion for yourself that i know you would give to others. i am learning to count on myself to give myself the compassion that i gladly give to others. I have to PRACTICE loving myself at times, just as i can love others.

        good luck to you, you are not alone in having those feelings, but they will not last forever. they are a part of your growth. please trust the process of growing through difficult times, and seek help. it is always darkest before the dawn. just don’t give up before the dawn comes! you’re not alone!

  41. Alida Avatar
    Alida

    This has been one of my biggest fears about putting Luke in school. He is social and well-adapted but he is very sensitive and into things that are way beyond what kids his age are into. He seems to have more in common with 9 and 10 year old. My fear is that he’ll be “diagnosed” with something or other. It’s big business here in Oregon. Everyone is on something. (Adults and children alike) I’m generalizing, but not exaggerating.

  42. Eve Avatar

    Lemonytree, what a refreshing name you have! 🙂
    Welcome to Third Eve, and thank you for your enthusiasm. I’m intrigued by “lemonytree.” I’ve had a lemon tree before, and when you rubbed the leaf it smelled so good. There’s a happy memory in there.

    Anyway, yes it’s ironic, isn’t it, that gifted people often do not go into gifted professions. The humanities must be bursting at the seams with geniuses doing what? Writing literary criticism? Teaching history? Having book clubs?

    Blogging?

    1. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind's Feet in High Places

      I Love that name Lemonytree!
      Me and my son were both a few years ago diagnosed with ADD. The man who gave me the test thought I was an interesting subject.
      Anyway, I grew up being told that I was “dumb as a doornail” and if I “had half a brain, you’d be dangerous”, basically Stupid. I was treated as stupid in public schools (put in LD lab) which held me back so badly in math I don’t wish to ever catch up. I was good in everything else but felt like a failure where it “counted”…
      Everything my parents wanted me to be interested in I hated.
      I’ve only recently within a few years ago, stopped feeling so stupid, but every once in a while it rears its ugly head and I feel worthless.
      My son has a hard time sitting still in class but all his teachers say he is so smart. He is just like me in school, can’t pay attention, doesn’t feel like the teacher talking about a lesson has anything to do with him and tunes out. I did a lot of that in school. My favourite thing to do was correct a teacher though, and I did any chance I could… esp. in highschool english. Funny, never could get a hang over those “trees”! what’s the point! If you can’t make a sentence in the first place what’s a tree going to do for you? I think I failed that part of class, I really don’t remember. I know I usually did well in english but when it came to my other studies, the tests were not my strong point. The end of the year test for 12th I did so bad I started crying. I remember these questions at the end of the test… they seem like questions an employer would ask, they seemed like “there is no wrong answer” so I answered them honestly… I think that was a big mistake.
      Don’t you have to have a good memory to be gifted? I’m pretty forgetful, always losing things, forgot what I ate already…
      I think I fit ADD really well, most everything on the check list fits me. I did really well on the patterns test which surprised the tester and I did really bad on the “what’s missing” test, where they show you a picture and anything could be missing. The first several pics I got were easy ie. a pitcher of tea, but then it got to a farm scene and I could not find it at all.
      I want to know what you think about it all.

  43. Eve Avatar

    Helen, I think the sample was small and we could probably just agree that people with high IQs choose the arts as professions, too. In the particular group of people studied in the report, there just happened to be no artists.

    I’d hazard a guess that many of the poets you know are gifted, but are diagnosed as bipolar. Don’t even get me started on psychiatry and diagnosing people til we are blue in the face. I have some strong opinions based on much research I’ve read, just one more reason I no longer work as a therapist.

    But I’m rambling now. 🙂

  44. helenl Avatar

    Hi Eve, I don’t know my IQ and don’t want to. I’m definitely an over-achiever. I have a son who’s gifted and another who’s not. The one who’s not is happier and more stable. My husband’s probably gifted but doesn’t know it.

    I was interested in the low number of gifted people who chose artistic professions. Many of the poets I know are bi-polar not gifted. I’m too well balanced to be a poet. It takes squinting in the fog to create the moment for me. My gifted son failed as a professional musician. Refused to learn to read music.

    1. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind's Feet in High Places

      I never made it to pro. now that you say your son refused to learn what I assume is sheet music, I can completely understand why. I cannot do the math. I get the notes and I feel the rhythm but don’t ask me to do the math.

      1. trobairitz Avatar
        trobairitz

        thats so interesting what you all are talking about regarding music career fruition.
        i Loved piano when i was young and quite good, but i would get So frustrated with the Time it took to learn to read the sheet music…i didnt understand why i couldnt just learn by ear (which i mostly did), but my teacher became quite good at testing me to see if i was playing by ear or by reading…
        i got frustrated and stopped after a few years.

    2. Hind's Feet in High Places Avatar
      Hind's Feet in High Places

      I never made it to pro. now that you say your son refused to learn what I assume is sheet music, I can completely understand why. I cannot do the math. I get the notes and I feel the rhythm but don’t ask me to do the math.

  45. renaissanceguy Avatar

    Wow! I saw myself in many of the characteristics listed. I have a daughter in the same boat. I’m actually glad to be able to help her understand herself and to develop coping strategies.

    I believe that I am among those who “. . .have grown up knowing they were intelligent, accepted it, and developed the social skills to get along with others.”

    The two things I have struggled with the most have been Perfectionism and Fear of Failure. It drove me to complete frustration and even to attempting suicide. I now have those two things under control, although they are often somewhere nearby, trying to sneak back in.

    I can see why some of us are thought to have Learning Disabilities. I used to score low in reading comprehension, although I understood what I read much better than any of my classmates. The problem was that I made so many associations and also interpreted the reading selections in various creative ways, that I often picked the “wrong” answer. I finally learned to play the game and pick the “right” answer.

  46. lemonytree Avatar
    lemonytree

    Very intresting …gifted people staying away from creative work. There seems to be a story here, either in analysis of gifted people or understanding creativity.
    Thank you Eva, for such a wonderful blog!!! Kudos.

  47. Caroline Avatar

    Thank you for also posting this poem in the comments section of my own site.

    It (the poem) indeed captures wonderfully and succinctly the differences between the two types of intelligences.

    As I look over your recent postings, I realize I must visit your site more often than I’ve been doing, for there’s so much of interest to me which I must catch up on.

    “…….Jung said that the more people were in a group, the lower the intelligence of the group fell……….”.

    I think this is because we, all of us, when in a group, censure our thoughts and expressions in order to keep in with the rest of the group.

    We don’t want to disagree too vehemently, because if we do, we run the high risk of being cast out.

    Hence “groupthink”.

    So I don’t think the intelligence of the individual members of the group becomes less. It’s that the individual members behave less intelligently when in the group, than when outside it.

Leave a Reply

Discover more from The Third Eve

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading