This article is part of an ongoing series exploring the role of psychotherapy in addressing deep emotional wounds, particularly those rooted in early abandonment. Each installment follows one segment of a single, real-life case study, offering an intimate look at the challenges and breakthroughs that emerge in the course of therapeutic work. Through the unfolding story of Patricia, we witness how past pain can resurface—and begin to heal—when held within a safe and reflective space.

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The Orphancy Lens: Part 1.
In this chapter, we witness the initial severance. As Patricia navigates the choice of adoption, we see the archetypal ‘orphan’ beginning to search for a kinship that was lost long ago.

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facing the threshold of maternal loss

Patricia was a 28-year-old single mother, pregnant with her third child—a pregnancy that resulted from a date rape. Balancing a full-time job while raising two young daughters, she knew that caring for another child would be beyond her means. She had been considering adoption since learning she was pregnant and wanted to explore options that would give her baby the best possible start.

During her first trimester, Patricia contacted an adoption agency. Her call was answered by Jeanette Sizemore, a seasoned social worker known for her gentle wisdom and grandmotherly presence. Jeanette’s warmth and understanding helped Patricia feel comfortable enough to arrange a face-to-face intake, share her history and circumstances, and begin exploring the adoption process.

history

Patricia’s childhood had been difficult. Her father, an auto mechanic, was a violent alcoholic, while her mother—a quiet, passive woman—earned extra money providing home day care. Patricia was the eldest of three children, with a younger sister and brother.

When asked about family relationships, Patricia said, “We girls adored our little brother; we would have done anything for him.” As children, Patricia and her sister created a system to protect him from their father’s violent outbursts: Patricia would draw their father’s anger, while her younger sister took their brother away from the conflict and danger, and their mother stayed fearfully in the background.

One vivid childhood memory stood out—a fierce argument between her parents that ended with her mother locking their drunk father outside the house. In retaliation, he drove his pickup truck straight through their living room window. “That was the last straw,” Patricia said.

“After that, we threw him out for good. By then my sister and I were old enough to make the call, and we told Mom he had to go.” She paused, her hands working at the tissue in her lap. “The three of us raised my baby brother until he could get to college. He was the only one who made it through high school.”

“We don’t see much of him anymore. After college, he married a girl from back east, and now they live their… their nice life away from all this.” The slight hesitation before ‘nice’ carried years of complicated feelings. “But he’s happy. That’s what matters.”

marriage & divorce

Patricia’s first marriage had unraveled in a way she never anticipated. Her husband, once steady and sober, had inexplicably “turned into a boozer, even though he never drank before, not even at our wedding reception!” The sudden change baffled her, emerging only after their daughters were born. Unable to endure the chaos, she eventually “ran him off, too,” though his irregular child support payments left her constantly struggling to make ends meet. Despite these hardships, she earned an associate’s degree in finance and hoped to secure a better job in a bank or credit union to improve her circumstances.

Determined to break free from the shadow of growing up with an alcoholic parent, Patricia had completed about a year of counseling at a free county clinic before the date rape occurred. She believed she had built a better life for herself and her children than the one she had known, yet she struggled with significant daily anxiety even prior to the assault.

the adoption plan moves forward

Several weeks after contacting the adoption agency, Patricia learned her unborn baby was a boy. When asked what her feelings were about giving him up, she acknowledged the deepening bond she felt since sensing his movements, but insisted that she needed to do what was best for him.

Patricia explained that considering adoption for her son was a gift, not an abandonment. “This baby needs to be as far away from us as he can,” she said firmly, “so he can have a chance at a better life.” The baby’s biological father was incarcerated on another charge, but likely to be paroled within a few years. Patricia worried about her son’s safety if he remained with her—a realistic concern, given the situation.

The social worker overseeing Patricia’s intake approved her adoption plan and, following standard agency protocol, provided a list of independent local counselors who could offer pre- and post-placement support. She encouraged Patricia to seek ongoing help as she navigated the emotional complexities of the months ahead. Soon after, Patricia began meeting with a therapist—marking the beginning of a deeper journey.

In her report, the social worker concluded that Patricia’s plan was thoughtful, well-considered, and clearly in the best interests of her unborn child.

Everything appeared to be in place.

in session: Tales of transformation

• Intro: An Introduction to Tales of Transformation
• In Session, Part 1: Considering Adoption
• In Session, Part 2: Client and Therapist Meet
• In Session, Part 3: Message in Blood
• In Session, Part 4: Dream Work
• In Session, Part 5: The Analyst is Analyzed
• In Session, Part 6: Deliverance
• In Session, Part 7: Disconnected
• In Session, Part 8: Termination

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE
This case study is based on real-life therapy work and reflects the emotional and psychological truths of the process. To protect the privacy of those involved, all names and identifying details have been changed.