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The Beginning of Wisdom
The longer you lived in a toxic, shame-based, hurtful environment, the longer your healing will take.
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Good Help is Hard to Find
The entire goal of being helped is robustly healthy, balanced, and honest relationship to others. It is also to gain an awareness of when others unconsciously manipulate or use contempt or shame to try to control you or get their own needs met. If you can do that after receiving help, you have arrived.
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If People Were Stray Animals
If people were stray animals, we would all be worth rescuing. Groups of rescuers would band together, forming networks whose only purpose is to give care and comfort to the abandoned. […] How lovely, if each traumatized person were valued as much as a stray animal.
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Letting Go
When the basis of one or more habits decays or disappears, we discover we don’t know who we are any more.
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Everything is Waiting for You
Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone. […] To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy of your surroundings.
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Master, Mentor, Teacher, Guide
And so we have sat with the baby, calling to mind how small and helpless we were so long ago, how patterns we have had in our lives since infancy and early childhood have stuck with us, in some cases crippling or hindering us in ways we do not wish–in ways that we can’t seem…
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Knots
People don’t exist in vacuums; we are tested and proved through what we do when what is most dear to us is threatened or taken away. We see who we really are when we’re our most vulnerable; vulnerability also shows us where our boundaries are. In depth psychology, we refer to complexes, which are a…
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Lost
We’d had heavy thunderstorms for several days, but the temperature had not dropped. When I took the dogs out first thing that morning, the air felt heavy, warm, and wet. Low-lying clouds hung over the woods in the distance, teats full of rain. Another storm was coming. As I waited on the dogs, a small…
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Post Game
Though it’s taken a good two months to do it, I’m finished with Patricia’s case study; this post may be considered a sort of post-game wrap-up, a terminal staffing of Patricia’s case. Although Patricia is a composite, she is a reliable composite of real clients. I never worked with a surrendering birth mother who wasn’t devastated…
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Patricia: Part 7
Several weeks passed, but Liz didn’t hear from Patricia again. Troubled by the lack of contact, Liz tried calling Patricia. Her number had been disconnected. Finally, Liz called Jeanette Sizemore, the social worker who had first referred Patricia’s case to her. “Oh, yes,” Jeanette said, “Patricia had the baby and placed him with a wonderful…
The Third Eve 