Tag: bereavement

  • Widows Speak Up

    Widows Speak Up

    We widows and other bereaved folks who cannot get past our losses fear being unhappy the rest of our lives.

  • Perspective

    Perspective

    Last week, I accompanied my son to the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis, Maryland, where he’ll experience what’s known as “plebe summer,” an intense and grueling introduction to military life that precedes the academic year. We walked across the still campus together at 6:00 a.m., for he had been ordered to report for his […]

  • Tribulation is Treasure

    Like many others who have lost children, I changed most in my thinking about what matters.

  • Resolved to Heal?

    The word ‘heal’ comes from the Old English word hælan, to make hale, whole, or free from infirmity. Among traditional therapists and counselors, it is a favorite word that means next to nothing when applied to the aftermath of losing one’s beloved.

  • The First Year

    For the first month after my daughter died, every day I woke up feeling heaviness and chest pain. Tears dithered behind my eyes constantly.

  • Breakdown

    There is no such thing as a nervous breakdown.  This is why I didn’t have one. I also didn’t have one because I’m a strong person. Very strong. Another reason I didn’t have one, even when my daughter was dying, was that four years in graduate school equipped me to fend off and defend against all manner of psycholgoical and emotional […]

  • Acting Weird is Not a Symptom

    Acting weird is not a symptom. Just ask any emergency room nurse who has known your child for all of 30 seconds. “What are her symptoms?” “She’s acting weird.” “What? Acting weird is not a symptom. What are the symppptommmms?” This, drawn out slowly and with empasis, as if Nurse Ratched is talking to an […]

  • Lamentations

    Lamentations

    That was and still is the great disaster of my life–that lovely, lovely little boy. . . There’s no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were. –Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), on the death of his first son at age three My son, a perfect […]