8 Steps to a Good Mind

Adapted from Purpose Fairy.

1. Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.

The mistake that most of us make when having a problem is to talk about it over and over again instead of focusing on the outcomes we want and the steps we could take to achieve them.

2. Solve problems; enjoy life.
Every problem invites a solution, but many find it difficult to let go of worrying about problems rather than seeking solutions. Confucius said, “If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake.” The more solvable problems we can correct, the happier we’ll be.

3. Don’t believe everything you think.
Our problems aren’t as big as the mind is trying to convince us, and if you choose to believe every negative thought that goes through your mind, you will always get in trouble. Observe your mind and observe your thoughts, but don’t identify yourself with them. Go beyond them by questioning yourself, and begin by asking, “Is this true?” and “Are you sure?”

4. Cultivate gratitude.
Choose to express your gratitude for people and events, whether good or bad. The more you choose to express gratitude, the more reasons you will have to express it. It’s all too easy to focus on our losses, struggles, and pain when we’re enduring such seasons. Even so, in the midst of difficulties it is essential to find the gifts life also gives so freely. Soon there will be less space left for negativity if we practice looking at what is good in our lives.

5. Learn to look at what hurts you as invitations.
Life is full of incomprehensible, unreasonable suffering, yet every sorrow comes with an invitation. The invitation may be to learn something, or it may be to find meaning in spite of suffering; yet again, the invitation may be to change and grow, or to pick up a new thing or let go of something else. A conflict may gently ask whether we can let go of judgment, or try and see a person or situation with new eyes.

6. Let go of your need for perfection.
When you try to do everything perfectly, you will meet with stress and frustration, because it’s impossible to be perfect and accept being “good enough.”

7. Let go of your resistance.
Once you’ve recognized that a problem or conflict can’t be solved in the present, let go of your resistance to the truth. Fighting outcomes you can’t change prolongs conflict. A well-known recovery motto is “Let go and let God.” Sometimes it is best to release all our judgments, wants, and wishes and practice acceptance.

8. Learn to be present in everything you do.
When you become present and engaged in the now, your whole life will become easier and you will realize that problems will begin to disappear, little by little. If you get too caught up in your mind, and if you think too much about what happened in the past and about what may happen in the future, you will create a great deal of pain and suffering, and the energy you will generate will be toxic, not only for yourself, but also for those around you, because energy is contagious. Go with love in the present moment.

One response to “8 Steps to a Good Mind”

  1. Deb Avatar

    Good advice and quite timely. At work I am dealing with a passive-aggressive co-worker who believes she is doing god’s work. She is a bully and treats both patients and co-workers badly. I get so frustrated with her and I try to remember that she is in my life for a reason, to teach me how to assertive is what I think. Except I hate being assertive, it doesn’t come easily to me so I am uncomfortable with this position that I think she has put me in. I know, I put myself there. I also hate to see people hiding behind god’s skirts instead of dealing with her own problems.

    I hope you’re well Eve. I miss you.

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