Adoption as Legal Kidnapping

The wicked snatch fatherless children from their mother’s breasts, and take a poor man’s baby as a pledge before they will loan him any money or grain. -Job 24:9

In this post, I want to focus on what happens in the United States these days when a newborn infant is given up for adoption, and how voluntary relinquishment of a child removes the constitutional rights of birth parents to their own child. Perhaps if more people knew what signing a Consent to Adoption  meant and how difficult it is to revoke one in court, fewer people would sign them or encourage birth parents to sign away the constitutional rights of themselves and their children.

The Rights of the Natural Family

In the United States, before any child can be adopted, the petitioners for adoption (usually, the adoptive parents) must prove that adoption is in the best interests of the child. The child’s own attorney, or guardian ad litem, must agree, for all adoption in the U.S. must legally serve the child’s best interests. Many people do not know that, under the law, the biological parents have substantial rights to assert, if only someone would support them in doing so. Many people also do not know that the laws in the United States support being raised by one’s biological parents as foundational to the child’s best interests–so foundational, in fact, that the right to raise one’s biological child, and the right to be raised by one’s biological parents, is a constitutionally protected right.

It is a right, that is, until a mother voluntarily gives up physical or legal custody of her baby. The act of surrender is, in point of legal fact, a terrible surrender for it abrogates the right of the child to be raised by his own parents, too. Those interested in the legal side of child welfare should compare guardianship and custody laws with adoption laws for an education in just how badly awry our adoption laws have gone, thanks to tweaking by adoptive parents, adoption attorneys, and legislators.

Because the right to raise the children one has given birth to is a constitutionally protected right, during guardianship or custody proceedings, it is presumed that the best interests of minor children is served by placement with the natural parent in the absence of clear and convincing proof showing that the natural parent is unfit. A large body of case law makes it clear that it is legally presumed that the best interests of the child is to be with his parents, unless being with the parents is contrary to the child’s welfare.

Furthermore, in the United States, any unfitness which might deprive a parent of the right to custody of his minor child must be positive and not comparative, and the mere fact that a child might be better cared for by a third person is not enough to deprive the parent of his or her right to custody of the child. So, for example, the fact that a child might be better cared for by another person is not sufficient reason for depriving a parent of custody of his or her child. At least, this is the case in guardianship proceedings.

In Alford v. Thomas, 316 P.2d 188 (Okla. 1955), the Oklahoma Supreme Court explained the natural and legal rights of biological parents thus:

“Parents have by nature, as well as law, the legal right to the custody of their minor children. This right will always control the judgment of the courts, unless circumstances of great weight and importance connected with the necessary welfare of the child exist to overcome such right.”

The Pitfalls of Voluntary Relinquishment

Unfortunately, nature seems powerless when court proceedings concern adoption rather than guardianship and custody, although even in some custody cases, courts may become confused. In a North Carolina Supreme Court case, Price v. Howard, the court ruled that any voluntary relinquishment of custody by a parent “would result in the loss of constitutional protections of the superior custody interests of parents in their children, and would allow the court to use the best interests of the child standard without a showing of parental unfitness or neglect.”

Stay with me on this, for in this one example of court-sanctioned legal skullduggery, we can see how courts moved from favoring biological parents to favoring adoptive parents. Voluntary relinquishment of custody removes the birth parent’s constitutional right to raise her child, and all presumptive rights, too. Before the adoption has ever been completed, she has forever signed away the presumptive rights she had. This is how adoptive parents win in court nearly every time.

This is why many people do not know that, the moment a birth parent hands her newborn over to eager adoptive parents, the chances of her getting that baby back are almost nil. Birth parents in child welfare cases in which child neglect or abuse have been substantiated have more chance of getting their children back than do birth parents of healthy infants arranging so-called open adoptions. This is because adoption in practice and by law favors adoptive parents, even though guardianship and custody law clearly identify being raised by one’s natural parents as in the child’s best interests. What is in the child’s best interests changes under adoption law, for natural parents no longer have presumed superiority in the world of adoption law.

Adoption laws, which are similar from state to state, create more hoops for the birth parent to jump through than you can shake a stick at. These hoops are created when a consent to adoption  occurs; had the birth mother only entered a guardianship agreement, her constitutional right to reclaim and raise her child might be supported–although this is not always the case, either. So few birth parents have adequate legal representation that it seems silly for me to preach that they ought to be given good representation. How many attorneys for the birth parents have their fees paid by the prospective adoptive parents? How many are appointed by the courts? How many advise such parents to keep the baby for a week, breast feed him, have a go at parenting, and after it’s clear that they cannot parent the child, then to consider another placement for the child? Not many, I’ll wager. And I think this is the case with non-relative and relative adoptions, both. I have heard of it happening just as frequently when relatives offer to care for a baby or child, which is why sexually active people who are not ready to grow up and become parents ought to either quit having sex or ought to use reliable birth control: guardianship and adoption are terrible methods of birth control.

A Case in Point

In one example of relative adoption, Mary, a young mother, has given her newborn baby to Aunt Flo to raise while Mary finds a job and a place to live. Aunt Flo, the savvy childless auntie, insists on a guardianship agreement, and Mary reluctantly agrees. Mary visits her baby several times a week, juggling school, work, and visits. By the time the baby is five months old, Aunt Flo wants to keep the baby, and Mary has graduated and wants her baby back. Mary has a job and an apartment, but she earns minimum wage and all her resources have gone into her apartment and all the trappings of motherhood that she’ll need to care for her baby.

When Aunt Flo and Mary go to court to fight over this baby, Aunt Flo will take Uncle Ed, and the judge will see a mature, married, moneyed couple standing before him, as compared with young, single, uneducated Mary, working for minimum wage. The law will specify a set of tests that Mary must pass before she, the baby’s own mother, will be deemed by the court to be “in the best interests of the child.” Since Mary visited three or four times a week, she passed the visitation clauses of the best interests and non-abandonment sections of the law. But what Mary didn’t know was that the law also specifies that she must have provided substantial support to the baby. “Substantial” is not spelled out in dollar amounts, so one has to go to case law to determine what U.S. courts have agreed is substantial enough to prove this mother loved her baby. Suffice to say that what Mary did for her baby-buy an Easter dress, some new shoes, a bag of diapers maybe-is not “substantial.”

“Substantial” is the support Aunt Flo and Uncle Ed gave to the baby: mortgage payments and utilities and all living expenses, divided by the number of people living in the home. This is substantial.

Mary is unlikely to get her baby back from the local court. The local court will probably uphold the guardianship; but if Mary appeals and gets all the way to the Supreme Court, she is likely to regain custody of her baby, because in guardianships it is always presumed that the child’s best interests will be served through being raised by her biological parents.

Sadly, if Mary signed adoption consent papers rather than guardianship papers, she will most likely never get her baby back if she is fighting people who have money and experience. In the most litigious nation on earth, we know how to kidnap babies legally, and we have been doing it since we were colonies.

Legally-Sanctioned Kidnapping

Adoptive parents and their attorneys have many maneuvers available for keeping possession of a surrendered infant, even when a birth mother changes her mind. I have seen mothers one, two, or three days after surrendering in a state in which there is a clear 30-day revocation period fight to get their babies back, and lose. In the past, I periodically served as an expert witness for such birth parents, and my heart has broken as I have witnessed birth mothers pleading for their babies, tears running down their faces, breast milk dripping, while adoptive parents with the ink barely dry on their placement papers turn stone cold faces against the young woman they said they loved.

Yes, only a few days prior, in the hospital, these same adoptive parents had tears running down their faces; they said they loved this birth mother like a sister, a daughter, their miraculous, gift-bearing birth mother friend. These same parents become monsters within 48 hours of possessing the baby they fiercely believe is theirs because they have bottle fed him in a motel room for two days.

Pardon me for being judgmental, but I hope that a special circle of hell is reserved for adoptive parents like this. I know of some of them, people who got back on their airplanes and self-righteously flew home with their legally stolen babies. The fathers are usually attorneys or doctors, the mothers are professionals, too, who have taken a leave of absence from work until Baby is able to survive with nannies or quality day care providers in the home. They will get on their airplanes and fly home, and they’ll never tell their little Gift Child how his mother fought for him, and lost, crazy with grief. They will slam shut the adoption they promised would be open forever, the birth mother a permanent part of their family, because she betrayed them by deciding to raise her own baby, the baby her arms and breasts ache for.

Many moneyed prospective adoptive parents come to backward southern states such as Arkansas, Oklahoma, Florida, and even Texas to get babies for this reason. The more politically conservative a state is, the more likely that the surrender and revocation laws governing infant adoption favor adoptions and put birth parents over a barrel so they can be properly screwed.

If court proceedings in adoption were not closed to public scrutiny-and they are-the average American would be outraged by what passes for child welfare in the United States. Our adoption industry is largely controlled by men, most of them attorneys or judges, and by people with enough money to buy off birth mothers and to fight them when they get uppity. Although in most states, the adopted child is appointed his own attorney, a guardian ad litem, most of the time this attorney goes along with the attorney serving the adoptive parents’ interests. Attorneys for birth parents rarely have a chance of winning, because everyone knows that any parent who gives up her baby in the first place is not a very good parent and has surrendered not only her baby, but also her constitutionally protected right to raise him.

Where mercy for the birth mother abounded before, there is no mercy after she has let the baby go and later seeks to have him returned.

I do not know how any adoptive parent can justify raising a child who was ultimately wanted by his birth mother, but I have met some who think nothing of legally absconding with a child. I think they are monsters, and you can read forums and blogs written by such people who moan and wail about how the Big, Bad Birth Mother is trying to get her own child back. They are sickening examples of the worst kind of wickedness, and I want to thank Linda Webber for reminding me of this verse in her comment to one of my recent articles:

The wicked snatch fatherless children from their mother’s breasts, and take a poor man’s baby as a pledge before they will loan him any money or grain.

Job 24:9, New American Standard Bible
 Art by Pablo Picasso

52 responses to “Adoption as Legal Kidnapping”

  1. David Archuletta Avatar

    Eve, I would like to use this website and see how people would veiw an Idea that I think would work to help solve the BF rights issue. The problem, one of them anyway is the fact that the fifty States have not uniform ways of dealing with the problem. For example, take my case, if I would have known that my son was adopted, it could have been in any of these States. I would have been able to narrow it down to four States but the point is, where is the child? New Jersey is a State where the adoption attorney does not have to tell the court or anybody else what information he might have about the BF. If there is one thing that these fifty States in our union do not like, it is Big Brother telling them what to do. This means each State will treat Bf rights anyway it’s people voted upon. [Although, some times, they can change a law through the act of petition and creating a Bill that whisks through legislation, sometimes unseen or unknown to the population of State, ala New Jersey.] I say that if a baby in womb crosses State line of residence, the federal government should have something to say about it. My idea would work, or at least have an impact on search efforts as to maybe finding out where the child is “hid”.
    Well here goes, a BM traveling out of State to have her baby adopted in another State must sign two simple federal statements, one, is her name and two her State of residence, and the Adoption State. This information would be givrn to no one whatsoever. Before the adoption State proceeds with the process they would check this federal site and get verification that she has complied, if she has not, she must do so. That would be all there is to it. The federal regulation would have been complied with. As for a BF, if he suspects that his child has been adopted without his consent, along with his other efforts, he may go to this federal website and sign a regulation that States his name and adress, and permits the federal agency to give his name to the BM, that she may know someone is inquiring about the adoption of her child. The federal agency [website], would then cross-reference this information with their database and if they found a matching State, they would send this BF information to that State. This would be the only involvement of the Federal government. The BF meanwhile would not be told nothing whatsoever but, literature would explain that if there was a match, that his name and how to locate him was given to that state. What this accomplishes is that it puts the ball in the adoption States court. The federal law would only mandate that all fifty States receive the BF information, not act upon it. It would be that States perogative to do as they may with it. As far as a finalized adoption if the BF through his own search, did not succeed in finding out where his child was, and he did not use this federal tool that is free of charge, it would only stregnthen an adoption through the judges eyes, as he would wonder about sincerity on the BF’s part. If the public knew that its State government had BF info and did not do anything with it, well it is their State law. As Fredrick Douglass one of our nations greatest orators and emancipators said “Power concedes nothing without demand” Ive always liked that quote. Dave

  2. Eve Avatar

    David, I felt so sad when I saw you had signed a comment, “unknown father.” Regardless of where the grime comes from in adoption (the grime that obscures the beauty of who people are, including things as basic as identity), it’s just sad.

    I wish that some of my adopted children had fathers like you, fathers who want to know them. I was reading a birth father’s blog yesterday and was so glad to find that there are some fathers representing that side of the adoption world, too.

    About King Solomon: people have different interpretations. I have heard that story used by adoptive parents or adoption facilitators to show that the good birth mother gives away her child. Of course, I think they miss the point. I’ve linked twice this week to an interpretation by a birth mother who writes about that story so well that there was no need for me to comment further. However, yes, of course, the mother in that story kept her child alive because she was the real, authentic mother acting out of authentic love. This is what I think.

    I do not think that the Bible promotes adoption, even though the Bible clearly teaches that those who accept Christ as their Lord are adopted into God’s family (unless they are Jewish, in which case they are already God’s kids).

    I could not live with myself if I were a facilitator who did the sorts of things that they do to people like you, Dave. They must not have evolved virtue, or you’d think that they’d have to get out of that line of work.

  3. Lee Avatar

    Your posts make me think, and cause me tremendous pain as well. My entire family of 4 children is built through adoption. My eldest was abandoned in his country of origin. He was desperately ill when we finally got him into this country 15 months later. He is on the autistic spectrum and has said himself he would likely have not survived in his country of origin. However, I know that part of him is forever wounded by the fact that I know nothing about either parent. He asked me just a few weeks ago if with the advances in science his parentage could be determined. At 22, the pain is still there.

    My second son came to us through DSS. From all the reports and I have legions of them, there were very substantial efforts to help the birth mom but they were unsuccessful. 4 children were ultimately removed from the family and the saddest thing is that they were split up. We have contact with the siblings and I hope that this eases things for my son.

    My two youngest children were private adoptions through an agency in IL. Both were born substance addicted. My 3rd was preemie as a result, my 4th had no prenatal care and had severe illnesses all her first year as a result of not getting the immunities that birth moms normally pass on to their babies. We know a bit about the families. My 3rd baby, his mom had a child at home and was living with her family, she had placed another baby for adoption before. She was discribed as goodnatured and trying to work on her education and her addictions. My 4th baby’s birth mom had 7 children none of whom lived with her. her addiction was presently ruling her and apparently had for a long time. A number of the children lived with relatives but there were no longer relatives with resources to help further.

    I don’t feel that I stole my children and personally I think that they ultimately have a better life in our family. I love all my children; I can’t imagine life without them. But I grieve for their birth families, and I grieve for the conversations I have had with my older children and have yet to have with my littles.

  4. David Archuletta Avatar

    oh, i forgot, in the bible, there is king solomon and the two women fighting over the newborn child, am i correct in saying solomon represnts goverment when it was righteous, the woman who falsely claims the bay, the “adoptive parents” and the real birthmother, the “good mother” from times past, if im wrong tell me, but if im right like i think i am, you might recieve a lot of flack for categorizing adoptive parents in that way. however , i admire your conviction to say what you feel and i do agree with you. and yes some people , mostly facilitators i beleive, have “choice spots” in hell, maybe i do to, i dont know , but i know one thing , i would never barter a human life under the guise of justifiable humanities by the bakers dozen. dave

  5. David Archuletta Avatar

    hi out there, hello eve, i just got up a while ago, cant take my meds yet, so im one finer tpying again. any wayway i just got through reading your blogs on the adoptive process. i must say first that you are very educated and have a knack to, “see through the grime on the window to veiw the beauty of the trees”. because that is what they do, mask everthing slowly layer upon layer until the only light you can see by is artificially produced. i hope that makes sense but that is the way i feel after reading your blogs. i should say more appropiately, “writings.” i must say that i think along your lines. i never thought about it, but in a way this is what my book is about, seems to me, that the state infuenced the facilitator, to entice the birthmother to screw me, as im supposedly part of a cast no-good dads. the adoptive couple [who have money, if you dont have money, good luck] whom are financially secure, take it for granted they can adopt at any given time. im not saying all adoptive parents are like this but considering the money it generates, the powers that be make adoption easier by the day. they say the humanaties are not lost, but in essence they are, little by little. i must ponder some more on your body of work, dave, “unknown father”

  6. David Archuletta Avatar

    Eve, you make some valid points, there are questions that i would like to ask the adoptive parents, but that will probably never happen. i am sure they know about me, in feb. or march of 2006 an A.P. story along with CNN had it on their repetative news cycle all day long across the country. by the way that story did not tell the half of the story. i brought it to the A.P.’s attention, but they did not print any of my quotes except but one. a double negative, “they didnt do nothing to find me.” the reporter found the bm and asked her more questions. any way back to the adoptive parents, what makes me feel they are innocent is the fact that the bm sent them an extortion letter, they could have thrown it in the trash, and i would not be writing this blog, they gave it to their adoption attorney. he did nothing with it, now the question, what was the reason to give the attorney the letter, i say it was for him to check and see if the letter was true. was there a bf to be found, in thiss case i think that it was pure manipulation on the attorney,, but yet if he faild to look into the matter why do the parents not say anything,, maybe because they are protecting their son, i dont know but i am sure they know me, i wish they would contact me, but i dont blame them if they do not, i wish my family could at least know about him, but like i say in my book ,, we cant change our past but we can mold our future, to try and mold my sons future would be to try and change his past. and that would be against nature, things will stay as they are,,,,,, im going to sleep now for sure dave

  7. Eve Avatar

    David, I feel honored to meet a crusader with a sense of humor. I loved what you wrote about not becoming a Swiss watch repairman! Ha ha!

    I think if mothers have little likelihood of reclaiming their children, fathers have even less of a chance. They are so often alienated from the (birth) mother already; everyone may seem to want to collude to keep him out of things.

    You’ve written most directly about how people feel once they get possession of a child: that’s their child. This is exactly how they feel, and how they justify their behavior after the wrong has already been done. Then they plead the best interests of the child. It pains me to think of situations I’ve known of in which parents have been defrauded of their children. I suspect the adoptive parents think that 18 years will pass so slowly and what they did won’t matter. But it will matter; kids grow up and they often want to know the truth.

    I believe in ultimate justice, but I also know from experience that it is very slow coming. I also believe that people reap what they sow, and I admire that out of your loss and pain you’re trying to make a difference and trying to help others. Good for you!

  8. David Archuletta Avatar

    Thanks Eve, that was nice of you to do that. I am computer illiterate and would not have known how to link this site with my book.
    I wrote this book with the intention to warn perspective adoptive parents of some of the things to watch for when looking to adopt. As I look at it, just the thought of wanting to adopt shows me that these people are genuine in their quest to provide a home for a child.Wanting to adopt and Child trafficking mix like oil and water. That is why they must keep a wary eye on the facilitators. They are the ones that shake things up, and the adoptive parents do not know any different. That is until the mix starts to separate and begin to get clear. I can only imagine, but to have a child in your home for any amount of time, a person will fight tooth and nail to keep their son and daughter. At that point, wrongful adoption or not, that is their child and come the proverbial hell or high water, the child will remain in their care. This is rightly so, it is what I have accepted.
    However, what I did not accept is the manipulative and calculating eexecutive director and their equally corrupt associate adoption attyorneys tactics and outright deceit. It took me 5 years to take down Children of the World Aoption Agency, but it was worth the wait. New Jersey State law saved the “Jersey Rules” adoption attorney because of a double standard. In fact, in a letter to me from the State Supreme Courts, Disciplinary Reveiw Boards, Office of Attorney Ethics office read, I quote, “your greivance even if true would not constitute unethical conduct or incapacity. This was after the attorney lied twice about having known I existed. I wont mention their names on this site, but they are named.
    Now for the Department of Human Services. I found out through my own investigation, that two State Enforcement Agents were bias in their supposed investigative query of the adoption agency. I actually got my hands on inner-office notes that among other revelations too complex to tell here, that shows where they refer to the executive director whose name is “Veronica” as “Ronny”, is it any wonder why they found her innocent. I had to dig up my own evidence to put the agency out of business. I have a plan, that would curtail the hiding of Birth Father information, its kinda long though. And yes, I am trying to sell books, [Written much better than here, I haveParkinsons desease, and try to save as much effort as I can when it comes to dexterity, but I can walk , talk and function. I will not be able to become a swiss watch repairman though], well back to the book, I just finished it, and if it sells my intent is to make a trust fund, for my son, and my ex-girlfreinds [The birthmother] 10 year old daughter, they are the true victims in this case. Thanks again Eve, I am getting writers keyboard fingers. And I will continue to watch and post on this website. please excuse my writing errors. god bless.

  9. Eve Avatar

    Hello, Mirah Riben. I’ve read your books. Nice to have you over.

    The purpose of this blog is not to promote my work or my personal life, but to learn to write about what makes me passionate these days. For the past week that’s been adoption, because some adoptive mothers wrote some things on their painful blogs that bothered me, and my whole series about “real mothers” came out of that; I can only hope that the attitudes of these mothers is temporary and will wane with the full moon or something. I’ll wrap that series up tomorrow and return to my regularly scheduled programming, which is usually not adoption-related.

    But in any case, if I wanted to promote anything, such as my published work, I’d be doing it here, eh? I’m not terribly interested in what I’ve done in the past on this blog, but in what I am doing now and may do in the future. So consider me like that mythical creature who simply wants privacy and not to be found, and leave it at that. I’m not going to write about my work here (or much of my personal life, either, for that matter). However, I will gladly communicate more with you by email.

    Hope you don’t mind, much.

    Oh–and Mirah, I spent so much time putting this blog post together. The least you could have done was to give me some commentary. ;o) What did you think of what I wrote?

  10. Eve Avatar

    Alida, it sounds to me as though you understand all you need to understand about adoption. It’s really pretty simple, and any decent mother knows how to spell it out: l-o-v-e. Though people like to bash me for being all biblical from time to time, I can’t find better ways to say it sometimes than from some religious tome (often the Bible): love does no wrong to a neighbor.

    Your friend is doing a wrong by breaking an agreement she made. I can see what a moral dilemma that would give you in the friendship.

    I hate it when I have to let friends go.

  11. Mirah Riben Avatar

    Eve – what are your books?

  12. Alida Avatar

    Oh Eve, this just breaks my heart. I know a woman that I adore, unfortunately she has become part of this whole system. The last time we spoke, I think was the last time we will ever speak. She is trying to adopt a gorgeous little boy. He has had some developmental issues. She and her husband move around alot due to his job. She went to court to be able to take him to a state 3000 miles away from where his mother lives. The mother fought very aggressively (as aggressively as a woman with limited means can) to prevent this. The story I was told was how awful this mother is for wanting to keep her child, when certainly my friend could give him a better life. (no doubt)

    I kept telling her, “but she is his mother.”

    Finally all this anger and frustration surfaced and she told me to mind my own business, I don’t understand a thing about adoption!

    True enough. I do however understand being a mother. I really do adore my friend, but she has become so self-centered and in my opinion misguided. It seems to be about proving that she is better, not about the boy.

  13. Eve Avatar

    David, welcome back, and you’re allowed to write anything you want, including the title of your book. In fact, I’ll go check it out and just post it myself, unless you beat me to it. I’m honored to have you stop by, and I hope you’ll come again.

  14. Eve Avatar

    Anthromama, constitutional protections exist on the federal and state levels, but of course they would have to be asserted, which takes time, money, and good legal help, all of which are in short supply for most people, and I’d presume particularly for parents in some crisis that precipitated a possible adoption.

    Welfare programs at the state level usually have federal matching funds; so some degree of uniformity actually does exist, when states want to keep the federal matching dollar (and most do). But much of the most important help, such as subsidized and emergency housing, is on wait lists that can last years–so that’s not a lot of real help.

    It’s depressing. There is help, but it takes a certain amount of resourcefulness and determination to get it. I have a lot of both and found working with the system on client behalf so aggravating that we usually turned to private means first, and received more help.

    It seems impossible. Maybe if everyone who was outraged about this kind of thing would actually simply help someone in need, the world would change through our own personal actions. This is how we’ve lived and, while it hasn’t changed the world, it has changed some individual lives and that’s about all I can say about that.

    I feel very frustrated and sad when I think of all these injustices and how so much depends on money.

  15. henitsirk Avatar

    Funny how we will prioritize the guardian’s financial stability over the “natural” rights of the birth mother, yet will neither raise the minimum wage to a living wage, nor provide universal health care or any other substantial assistance that might help said birth mother out of poverty. (Yes, I know, there are myriad welfare programs. Are they consistently applied to all US citizens? No, because they vary from state to state. Do they really help these families work their way out of poverty? In my experience, not really.)

    When you say that the rights of the birth family are constitutionally protected, is that on the state or federal level?

  16. David Archuletta Avatar

    Hello Eve, thank you for your interest in the subject of adoption reform, I am trying to stir up interest in the area of birth father rights. [BF] Although, it is true most of the BF in an adoption setting do not want to be found, there are many that are unaware. It is one thing for the birth mother to deceive, but facilitators that know it is a fraud and then proceed with the adoption is dicspicable. Yes, Eve I have wrote about it in my book, I didnt want to act like a spammer so I did not mention it, but if you are interested you can go to lulu books publishing and search my name, the book’s initials are TCBOWA, I dont know if I’m allowed write the name on this site. Eve everything I wrote is true, thanks , David

    Eve says:

    David has two adoption-related books at Lulu Press: Purveyors of Wrongful Adoption and The Complete Book on Wrongful Adoption.

  17. Eve Avatar

    David, wow, really? I have always wondered how Rosie managed to adopt at all because so many of her parenting practices are just not “within normal limits.” (No, it has nothing to do with her being a lesbian, just in case anyone misconstrues my meaning.) I quit watching her altogether on any program when she started talking about how she taught her toddlers a “safe password” that included the word “fuck.”

    I’d be interested in knowing more about what sorts of illegality. I’ll look it up, thanks.

    Also, I am intrigued by your most recent comment. What happened to you in New Jersey? Did you know that New Jersey can boast of some of our country’s historically most influential adoption reformers? It’s true; but, sadly, the fight for more ethical adoptions and open records for the adopted has been just as difficult in NJ as in most other states.

    Have you written about your experiences? If so, I’d be interested in reading about them.

    I’m not surprised to read (once again) about how the people who work in the system, worked the system to effect an adoption. If agencies started representing clients who have crisis pregnancies ethically, so few adoptions would occur that the agencies would go out of business unless there was another source of income. The same goes for attorneys; and I do believe that any birth parent or relative considering placing a child ought to stay clear away from people whose primary income arises from adoption services. They have self-interest in promoting adoption, there is no doubt about it.

    I’m so sorry that you were somehow victimized this way as (I presume) an infant or young child.

  18. David Archuletta Avatar

    N.J.S.A. 3:3-39 1{B}, is a state adoption statute that is a license too steal. It allows adoption attorneys thepower as if King Solomon, he can intercerpt birth father information intended to thwart a fraud. These attorneys are few but the hurt is many.

    What happened to me, could have been prevented by the State of New Jersey, and an adoption attorney, and an adoption agency. Yet, they all conspired to defraud and deceive.

  19. David Archuletta Avatar
    David Archuletta

    My mistake she only funds it, and works there

  20. David Archuletta Avatar
    David Archuletta

    Then there is Rosie O’Donnells adoption agency, which has been put out of business because of illegal adoption practices. “Children of the World Adoption Agency, Verona, NJ

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