People say [unkind] things to relieve themselves of feelings of pain, anxiety, and loss, not to offer you any relief. It is, in fact, a denial of your humanity to say those things. Accepting it without response may keep the peace, but it won’t be your peace.
— The Dying Time, by Joan Furman & David McNabb
People say stupid and hurtful things to the dying and their caretakers. They also say stupid and hurtful things after someone dies.